Tuesday, May 29, 2018

King Lear

Shakespeare, William. King Lear. 2007. 215p. ISBN 0-300-12200-4. Available at 822.3 SHA on the library shelves.


Slowly descending into madness, Lear, King of Britain, decides to split his kingdom into three pieces, one for each of his daughters. As a price, however, he asks them to describe in glowing terms why they love him most. HIs two oldest daughters readily participates, but Cordelia, the youngest one, honestly replies that words alone cannot express how much she loves him. Enraged at what Lear perceives to be her lack of enthusiasm, he disinherits her, and grants her part to her two older sisters. The Duke of Kent opposes this move by Lear, so the King banishes him as well. Despite having lost her inheritance, Cordelia marries the King of France, who appreciates her honesty.

Lear then decide to live with his two daughters, alternating between one and the other. However, he brings with him a hundred knights which each must support while they are there, incurring significant expenses. Both daughters do not really love their father but consider him a old fool. Forced to disband his knights, Lear soon find himself alone with his Fool and the Duke of Kent, who has returned from exile and disguised himself as a servant to protect his King. Powerless against the daughters who have now turned against him, Lear looks to a French invasion to restore him to his throne.

His daughters have other plans, however, and they discover the plot against them. They assemble their armies and march on. Following the confrontation, the two sisters are victorious against Cordelia, but not without much bloodshed and double crossing. In the end all three sisters end up dead, and King Lear is left with only his madness before he succumbs to the trials he has lived through.

Shakespeare’s best known tragedy, King Lear remains relevant today for its presentation of greed and madness and for its discussion of the important of nature and reason.

Friday, May 25, 2018

Young Adult Literature

Cart, Michael. Young Adult Literature. 3rd Edition. 2016. 310p. ISBN 978-0-8389-1462-5. Available at PROF 813.009 CAR on the library shelves.


The history of young adult literature is an intriguing one. Originally an outgrowth of children’s literature, writers began to pay particular attention to the young adult market, loosely defined as boys and girls aged between 12 and 18. With the explosion of disposable income and pocket money in the 1950s, book editors and companies realized that teens had both the interest and the economic power to purchase books that were attractive for them. Books targeted at teens became a mainstay of book stores. As society changed and adapted to new realities, so did books for young adults, pushing beyond the comfort level of most parents and addressing issues such as sexuality, drugs, and violence, as well as portraying different family configurations.

This third edition provides updated information about the field and incorporates recent research and sales reports to highlight the most recent changes in the publishing industry and trends in book publishing. School librarians, youth librarians, and anyone with an interesting in the history of literature will appreciate this survey of young adult literature.

Thursday, May 24, 2018

Survivors club: the true story of a very young prisoner of Auschwitz

Bornstein, Michael and Debbie Bornstein Holinstat. Survivors club: the true story of a very young prisoner of Auschwitz. 2017. 352p. 452 mins. Available as an audiobook on Overdrive.


Born in Zarki, Poland after the German invasion of September 1939 at the beginning of the Second World War, Michael Bornstein has known nothing but war, and the Jewish oppression and extermination is nothing out of the ordinary for him. His father, an accountant before the war, was appointed as president of the Jewish Council by the occupiers. Through skills and luck, he managed to make life bearable for most of the Zarki Jews, and kept his family together. Michael’s father, mother, grandmother, and brother continued to live in their house until the Germans decreed that Zarki was to become Jew-free. Even then, they were able to stay behind with the clean-up crew for a few more months, as rumors of resettlements in the East turned to confirmation of death camps where Jews were being massacred and incinerated.

Eventually, the Bornstein family’s luck ran out. First transferred to a munitions factory, they were soon put on a train to Auschwitz where both Michael, his mother and his grandmother were separated from his father and brother, who perished in the Nazi gas chambers. Though only four years old, Michael’s mother managed to keep Michael hidden and safe for months. Her deportation to Austria to work in another munitions factory left Michael and his grandmother alone in the most notorious death camp. Michael was once again saved from death when he became sick enough that his grandmother, in despair of losing her last family member, smuggled him in the infirmary where he experienced a bed all to himself for the first time in his life. The next morning, the Germans were gone and the Soviets arrived. Wanting to achieve a propaganda victory over the Germans, the Soviets filmed Auschwitz’s surviving children showing their tattoos and gauntness, and Michael’s image was immortalized.

Michael and his grandmother returned to Zarki after the war, and reconnected with their family. His mother survived as well, and eventually they made it to the United States in the early 1950s where Michael became a successful academic and researcher. It wasn’t until decades later that Michael, watching a movie, realized that he was one of the children in actual footage of the war.

Working with his daughter, Michael retells his story from the fragments he remembers. Supported by archival research, Michael’s experience shows that wit, love and looking forward can keep hope alive even when it seems hopeless. Listen to a segment discussing this book and Michael’s experience here, and check out the book on Overdrive.

Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Betwixters: Once Upon a Time

Cantu, Laura C. Betwixters: Once Upon a Time. Book 1 of the Betwixters series. 278p. ISBN 978-0-9885-8519-5. Available at FIC CAN on the library shelves.


Noah’s move to England from the United States was not without difficulty, but he has adapted fairly well to his new environment. In English middle school, he made quick friends with always full of himself Ethan and best dancer and quick-witted Skye but is often the target of bully Gunther and his cronies. Noah’s father worked for the NSA, and is now involved in a secret project, which forced the family to move. Noah’s mother, who is Chinese, is very supportive of Noah and his aspirations.

Their town abuts the Dark Wood, a forest reputed to be haunted and the scene of a grizzly murder eight years ago. Noah’s father has made him promise never to enter the forest, but when Noah, Ethan and Skye are chased by Gunther and his crew, the only way to escape is to leave the school through the forest. As they go deeper, the environment changes and they can feel it become oppressive. They run in the man who owns the forest, whom they nickname Scaretaker and who warns them away from the dangers that lurk nearby. Skye, meanwhile, discovers the most amazing creature: Neevya the faerie, who comes from another realm and has unwillingly stepped through a portal to the human world. Stuck in an iron trap, Neevya has been infected by iron poisoning and must find the way back home soon, or she will die.

In a race against time and with enemies occupying the forest, Noah, Ethan, and Skye will need to outwit their parents, their bully, and the Scaretaker to deliver Neevya back to her home and save her life. Can they find the portal before it is too late?

Tuesday, May 22, 2018

The Notorious Benedict Arnold: A True Story of Adventure, Heroism and Treachery

Sheinkin, Steve. The Notorious Benedict Arnold: A True Story of Adventure, Heroism and Treachery. 2010. 337p. ISBN 978-1-59643-486-8. Available at B ARN and as an audiobook on Overdrive.


No figure in the history of the American Revolution is more reviled than Benedict Arnold, the man who agrees to betray his country and plotted the end of the Revolution for a large sum of money. Born in January 1741, Benedict Arnold was frail. Even as a small child, Arnold wanted to impress those around him, and felt that he needed to eclipse his father’s many failures. Through dedication and hard work, Arnold managed to redress the family finances and became prosperous. Married with three children, Arnold ran a successful Connecticut shipping company, but still wanted more.

An opportunity presented itself when the British made a series of political blunders while trying to collect taxes from its American colonies. Angry colonists gathered to protect themselves and their properties, until the flames of revolution was ignited with a British march to Concord and Lexington. Hearing of this momentous event, Arnold assumed command of the New Haven militia, and he marched out with his troops to support the nascent Continental Army. Despite never having fought, Arnold was shrewd and came up with a plan to seize the guns of Fort Ticonderoga and use them to dislodge the British from Boston.

Through subsequent action, Arnold made a name for himself for bravery and boldness, yet also attracted an increasingly higher number of detractors who could reproach him his lack of patience, his short fuse, and his capacity to enrich himself at the expense of the institutions he represented. Bold assaults on Quebec, the delay of the British reconquest of Lake Champlain and his bravery on the field spread his name far and wide, but he eventually garnered the ire important Pennsylvanians. With past decisions catching up with him, and with his financial situation in disarray, Arnold reached out to the British, who dispatched Major John André to negotiate a treacherous act: Arnold agreed to turn over Fort West Point to the British. With the Fort, which controlled the upper Hudson River in their hands, the British would have effectively cut off the colonies in two, and might have ended the Revolutionary War in their favor.

Unfortunately the plot failed, André was caught and executed as a spy, and Arnold escaped, joining the British as a general but then forced in exile in England, where he died in 1801. A man who could have been known as one of the greatest military heroes of the United States instead became synonymous with treason and bad judgment.

Engaging and packed with action and adventure, Arnold’s story continues to fascinate and intrigue readers. Fans of historical events and of military prowess will appreciate Arnold’s strength but will ultimately feel sorry for a man who made the wrong decisions.

Monday, May 21, 2018

A Visual History of the World’s Enduring Mysteries

Campos, Joan Soriano. A Visual History of the World’s Enduring Mysteries. Part of the Visual History of the World series. 2016. 100p. ISBN 978-1499465785. Available at 930.1 SOR on the library shelves.


History is plagued with events and locations that, to this day, have no explanation or are considered mythical. Yet, these events, whether or not they occurred, have influenced the course of civilization. And these locations, such as the Nazca lines, Stonehenge or Machu Picchu, clearly exist yet their purposes remain unclear. In World’s Enduring Mysteries, explore some of the strangest and mysterious occurrences throughout history. Was the quest for the Holy Grail real? Who was Jack the Ripper? Did the golden city of El Dorado really exist? How about Troy?

Providing timelines, gorgeous illustrations, and over forty mysteries, this book will fascinate readers who appreciate the “life is stranger than fiction” aspect of our world, and will give a better understanding of the mysteries that continue to intrigue and puzzle people millenia later.

Friday, May 18, 2018

Maximizing the One-Shot: Connecting Library Instruction with the Curriculum

Markgraf, Jill et al. Maximizing the One-Shot: Connecting Library Instruction with the Curriculum. 2015. 173p. ISBN 978-1-44223866-4. Available at PROF 025.5 MAR on the library shelves.


School librarians often have limited classroom contact with students. Unlike teachers who interact with their classes every day, librarians collaborate with teachers and staff and may not be in the classroom as much as they would like. Librarians are blessed when collaboration involve more than a classroom session, but for most of us the one-shot approach to coming in a classroom, presenting information, and then departing is more often than not the reality.

Aimed for the college librarian, Maximizing the One-Shot nevertheless provides excellent and adaptable advice to school librarians on how to better plan and use the one-shot approach to ensure that information delivery is effective and memorable. Their approach was to use the Lesson Study, where librarians and faculty collaborated together to develop one one-shot lesson to address specific skills necessary for students to successfully complete the class. Though they report that it took a lot of time, this was time well spent as it allowed all stakeholders to be on the same page as far as expectations and information needs, and it allowed the librarians to participate in the assessment of the skills taught.

The Lesson Study model approach to have multiple participants designing a unit lesson may be hard to accomplish in a K-12 environment, however the steps and recommendations can easily be used between one classroom teacher and one librarian to devise a truly collaborative one-shot lesson. Success can then be used as a model to build more collaboration with other classroom teachers.

Thursday, May 17, 2018

Land of the Lustrous, Vol. 1

Ichikawa, Haruko. Land of the Lustrous, Vol. 1. 2017. 192p. ISBN 9781632364975. Available in the graphic novels section of the library.


All of Earth’s intelligent life was wiped out eons ago, leaving the planet bare. Over time a crystal-based life form evolved and returned to inhabit the planet. Called the Lustrous, each crystal humanoid is a gem made of precious material. They can be chipped and broken, but not destroyed as long as enough pieces of them remain to be put back together and healed.

Descendents of the humans who escaped to the moon before the collapse of their civilization on Earth are bent on capturing the Lustrous to use them for decorations and as ornaments. The Lunarians launch successive attacks, hoping to catch the Lustrous unable to defend themselves, but roaming patrols of Lustrous protect their home against these attacks.

Phosphohyllite would really like to fight. She would love to be useful. But the most brittle of gems, Phos is instead tasked with creating a natural history of Earth. Ignoring where to even begin with writing such a story, Phos talks to all of the gems, and discovers that Cinnabar, due to her unique ability to focus light and function at night, has been effectively banished to the night to patrol, when the Lunarians never attack. What makes her different is also deadly to the other gems, tarnishing their brightness.

When she finally meets Cinnabar, Phos makes a promise she may not be able to keep: She will find her a new job, one that uses her talents and that don’t involve having to work the night shift.

The Lunarians are crafty, however. When they return to Earth to launch yet another attack, this time they bring a giant snail with them ...

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Under a War-Torn Sky

Elliott, L.M. Under a War-Torn Sky. 2003. 288p. ISBN 9780786817535. Available as an eBook from Overdrive.


During the Second World War, crewmen aboard American bombers flying over Europe had to complete 25 missions before being able to return home. On average, however, a crewman could expect to live through 15 missions before being shot down, killed in action, or captured after parachuting out of a flaming plane. Nineteen-year-old Henry Forester left his home in Virginia and his abusive father to join the bombing squadron. He always wanted to fly, and now he copilots a B-24 Liberator over Nazi-occupied Europe, bombing military and transportation targets. In March 1944, Henry is ready to board the plane for his 15th mission, and he realizes that statistically this might be his last one.

His plane and crew head for Southern Germany to bomb a ball-bearing plant when his plane is shot down by German fighters. Henry manages to escape and helps the wounded pilot out of the plane, but then loses sight of him. Crashing to the ground, he hurts his ankle and has difficulty walking. Hidden by a Frenchman, he is taken to neutral Switzerland. There he is informed that he can either remain here as a prisoner of war of the Swiss, or he can attempt to escape back into occupied France to make his way to Spain, thence to freedom. Not knowing how long the war will continue, and aware that his presence in Switzerland puts him in danger if the Germans attack, he decides to make the attempt.

As he travels through France, Henry encounters villains ready to turn him to the Germans for money or for a false sense of patriotism. He also meets people ready to risk their lives to help him escape and rejoin his own family. Through it all, Henry grows up and eventually realizes that his father, though abusive, has shaped up his life and has provided him with enough experiences to survive a total war. With D-Day and Americans landing in the North, can Henry and the Resistance resist the Germans long enough to ensure an Allied victory?

An adventure of survival against the odds, this book pairs well with Unbroken and Louis Zamperini’s story of survival as a bombardier in the Pacific theatre during World War II.

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption

Hillenbrand, Laura. Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption. 2010. 473p. 836 mins. Available as an audiobook on Overdrive.


A child of Italian immigrants, Louis Zamperini was a troubled youth. Always breaking the law and causing trouble, he would steal pies, hop trains, and try to avoid the law. His older brother Pete tried to keep him on the straight and narrow, but even he could be taken in by Louis’ antics. As they grew up in the 1920s, Pete spent time on the school’s track and field team, while Louis pursued girls. Pete suddenly realized that Louis could run faster than most people on the team. He helped his brother redirect his energies into running, and soon Louis began eclipsing marks. First it was the high school’s fastest run. Then the county. Then the state. Sent to New York to participate in the U.S. Olympics tryout, he finished third, earning a spot to the Berlin games in 1936, where he met Hitler. There were high hopes that he would be the first person to break the 4 minute mile mark.

With the Second World War looming, Louis joined the air force but immediately realized he didn’t enjoy flying. Called back to service, Louis trained to be a bombardier, the man who aims the bombs dropped by a bomber, and ended up posted in the Pacific. During a mission, his plane ran out of fuel and crash landed in the water, killing all but three of the crewmembers. Louis survived in a raft with the other two, surrounded by sharks. Although many planes flew above, none of them spotted them. Louis and Russell survived their ordeal while their third companion perished on the raft, and the men drifted for 42 days before being captured by the Japanese.

Transferred to prison camps, Louis was brutally abused by the Bird, a sadistic Japanese guard. Surviving in camps for two years, the war ended with Japan’s surrender and Louis was freed. Reunited with his family that had thought him dead, Louis attempted to resume running, but was unable to do so due to his injuries. Confronted by old demons from his years in captivity in Japan, it wasn’t until he heard Billy Graham speak at one of his crusades, and he became deeply religious.

Louis’ perseverance and determination helped him surmount obstacles and triumph over his abusers. He became a motivational speaker and even ran the Olympic Torch during the 1998 Nagano, passing by the location of his old camp. An inspiration to all, Louis’ story of survival and dedication is well worth listening to.

Monday, May 14, 2018

Twelfth Night

Shakespeare, William. Twelfth Night. 2008. Available as an audiobook from Overdrive, as well as 822.33 SHA on the library shelves.


Two siblings, twins Viola and Sebastian, are separated when their ship sinks in the Mediterranean. Rescued by a good captain, Viola disguises herself as a man, takes the name Cesario, and joins the service of Duke Orsino. Orsino is madly in love with Olivia, who still mourns the death of her father and brother, has sworn she would not have any relationships with men for seven years, so Duke Orsino’s pleas of love fall on deaf ears. She is intrigued by Cesario, however, whom she finds weirdly attractive. At the same time, Viola herself becomes infatuated with Orsino, creating an unrequited love triangle.

Meanwhile, Sebastian was himself rescued by a thief named Antonio. Wanted by Duke Orsino, Antonio falls madly in love with Sebastian. When Sebastian meets Olivia, she mistakens him for Cesario, and they soon marry. When Sebastian is reunited with Viola, both Duke Orsino and Olivia are confused, as there are now two Cesarios. Identities are soon unraveled and Viola and Orsino are soon married.

Considered by many to be Shakespeare’s best comedy, Twelfth Night hilariously examines what happens when cases of mistaken identities collide with love stories.

Friday, May 11, 2018

The Rise of ISIS: The Modern Age of Terrorism

Kennon, Caroline. The Rise of ISIS: The Modern Age of Terrorism. 2017. 104p. ISBN 978-1-5345-6056-7. Available at 956.05 KEN on the library shelves.


In the last ten years, no other organization has challenged modern Western society more than ISIS. The rise and partial fall of the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria contributed to the emergence of decentralized and radical terrorism and has led to an increase in anti-Muslim incidents in the United States and around the world. Following the invasion of Iraq, many Iraqis opposed the American presence. Inspired by Al Qaeda, several individuals formed an organization called Al Qaeda in Iraq and fought against the Americans. Over time, this terrorist organization was severely crippled and its leadership removed multiple times, yet it adapted and grew until it controlled significant portions of Iraq and Syria. In the process it abandoned its allegiance to Al Qaeda, which it deemed not aggressive enough, and pursued its expansion and stated goal of establishing a caliphate.

Denounced by Muslims around the world, ISIS still attracted disaffected youths to the battlefields of Syria and Iraq. Military offensives have been necessary to push it back and to destroy its operational control of oil fields and cities. Pushed out of its last city stronghold, ISIS is once again crippled, but not yet defeated. This book provides a history of ISIS, from the world events that inspired its creation to how it rose in power and potency. Measures taken to deal with this threat are discussed, and an explanation of its social media strategy is given. Finally, photos illustrate life under ISIS and in surrounding areas.

Students of history and those interested in learning how a terrorist group came to occupy significant territorial portions of Iraq and Syria will appreciate this comprehensive introduction to one of the world’s worst terrorist organizations.

Thursday, May 10, 2018

The Case Study of Vanitas, Vol. 2

Mochizuki, Jun. The Case Study of Vanitas, Vol. 2. 2017. 239. ISBN 978-0-316-47168-8. Available in the Graphic Novels section of the library.


Noé and Vanitas are now guests of Count Orlok after proving to him the power that the Book of the Vanitas grants Vanitas to remove the curse that afflict vampires. During a meeting with the Count, Noé tells the assemble individuals that he’s an archivist, a vampire with the ability to remember memories of other people simply by drinking their blood. He drinks Amelia’s blood and reveals that the Charlatan, the leader of a masked group resembling a carnival troupe, is behind the curse.

Dominique, the granddaughter of Noé’s teacher, interrupts the proceedings and informs Noé he needs to travel with her back to the Paris of vampires, across the Babel border. The vampires are holding a masquerade, and Dominique hopes to connect with Lord Ruthven, who is also investigating the curse-bearers. Vanitas follows, though he is only human. He reveals himself in front of the assembled participants, who promptly decide to bring him down for his impertinence. Amid the turmoil, however, several curse bearers manifest themselves, and even the Charlatan appears on the scene.

With the vampires in disarray and violence everywhere, will Noé manage to save Vanitas, or is Vanitas strong enough to protect himself?

Wednesday, May 9, 2018

Head Hunter

Howling, Eric. Head Hunter. 2017. 125p. ISBN 978-1-4594-0967-1. Available at FIC HOW on the library shelves.


As the captain of the football team and as the best defensive player, Colt Taylor has a lot of credibility with his teammates. The team’s coach, who is also Colt’s father, was a famed NFL player for the Pittsburgh Steelers in the 1980s, and has spent his retirement coaching high school football. Colt idolizes his dad, and they used to go to football games in Edmonton and watch it on television together. This year, however, Colt’s father suffers from bad headaches, is angry all the time, and takes it out on his team and on Colt at home. They haven’t been spending time together, and Colt now tries to avoid him as much as he can.

With the Warriors season in full swing, Coach Taylor is aiming for a undefeated season. His headaches are getting worse, and it’s becoming increasingly hard for Colt to please him. When the team is in danger of losing a game, Coach orders his defensive players to aim for the quarterback’s knees to cripple him. Colt refuses to do so, and Gunner is the only one who follows through. The quarterback has to leave the game. Colt feels horrible about what just happened, but doesn’t know how to deal with this situation.

As the season progresses, Colt finds himself confronted with more demands from his coach. Faced with the choice of hurting another player or being benched, what decision will Colt make?

Dealing with the consequences of concussions and Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE), this book examines the impact of CTE on people who no longer play the game yet remain affected by it.

Tuesday, May 8, 2018

Once and For All

Dessen, Sara. Once and For All. 2017. 357p. ISBN 978-0-425-29033-0. Available at FIC DES on the library shelves.


Working for her mother, Louna has seen all sorts of weddings. Her mother is Natalie Barrett, the locally famous wedding planner, and she and her partner William have the art of the wedding down to a science. Louna has been working with them ever since she was a young girl, and her role has evolved over time to include more tasks. When asked by a nervous bride if she believes in the fairy-tale wedding and a happily-ever-after, Louna can’t answer, because she doesn’t believe any of it. She’s seen too many happy couples fail, and combined with her mother’s cynicism, Louna knows she will never live a true love story, because they don’t really exist.

Then she runs into Ambrose at his mother’s wedding. Ambrose is everything Louna is not. He’s spontaneous, she’s not. He has no ambition nor plans, she has both. Soon Ambrose ends up working for her mother, and now she has to put up with his irreverence and clear lack of wedding business skills. Ambrose rubs her the wrong way, and yet, there’s something there. Louna is not ready to date, however, not after the whirlwind she experienced with Ethan, a beautiful night and a short passionate relationship that had no time to blossom due to a school shooting that took Ethan’s life. Louna is not ready to let go of Ethan, for no other relationship could compare. Ambrose too feels that there is something there, and he endeavors to kindle the flame that will lit up their relationship.

Fans of Lock and Key will appreciate this great book about love by Sarah Dessen, this story is told from Louna’s perspective and explores how one person can overcome the sorrows that have kept them from experiencing everything that life has to offer.

Monday, May 7, 2018

Flunked

Calonita, Jen. Flunked. 2015. 244p. ISBN 978-1-49260157-9 . Book 1 of the Fairy Tale Reform School series. Available as an eBook from Overdrive.


Following the disastrous allegations that followed Cinderella’s ball and the incident of the glass slipper, Flora, Cinderella’s wicked stepmother, realized the error of her ways and, to atone for her violent tendencies and evilness, she created the Fairy Tale Reform School where every character that needs to be reformed can be safely taught together so they can change their ways. With princesses in charge and with the 7 dwarves and their minions enforcing their will, Enchantasia has never been this peaceful.

Unfortunately, not everything is as it should be. Two major villains managed to escape the dwarves and now lurk in the dark edges of Enchantasia. Worse, peace has not improved the prosperity of the people. Gilly’s father is the craftsman who created the glass slippers, but ever since their popularity went through the roof they have been made magically, putting him near bankruptcy. With no prospects of money and a belly always empty, Gilly has been stealing from the Royals in the marketplace to make sure there’s always something to eat. But when she gets caught a third time, Gilly is sentenced to the Fairy Tale Reform School.

Staffed with former villains, such as the Bad Wolf and Snow White’s Evil Queen, the school at first seems daunting. As Gilly makes friends, however, she quickly realizes that things are not at all as they appear, and that it may be impossible for some villains to truly be reformed. With her friends, Gilly will try to stop an attempt on the princesses’ lives, but can she save Enchantasia without losing herself?